Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Family Tug-of-War....

Hi, sorry for the short posting vacation yesterday, Monday is "Mom Day", that is, Bug and I drop Belle off at the bus stop and then meet my Mom to go and run errands.  It's a day just for me and Mom to do whatever we need to get done and to have a little fun for ourselves.  Mom buys lunch on the off weeks and when Hubby gets paid I buy and we usually do our errands and then walk through the mall or something similar.

Bug tags along and gets a day of socialization and life skills - it's a win/win for us all.

Today I wanted to talk a little bit about the "Family-Tug-of War", it's mostly my own internal struggle about things that are going on in my family.  Today's struggle just happens to be delegating.

I picked up a book this weekend called "Accountable Kids: Raising Accountable Kids One Step at a Time" and it's by Scott W. Heaton, LMFT and Traci S. Heaton.  I haven't really got into the meatier parts of the book yet, but I've seen enough to know that my kids have NO accountability.  And you know what?  It's not all their fault.  My kids don't do household chores - required or otherwise - they aren't responsible for much of anything - AND it's because of ME.

I have a really hard time delegating.  Not so much because of the fact that they don't do things right, or that they don't complete things by my standards, but more so because I just don't have the energy to keep after them to get things done.  

I don't know about your house, but my Aspie babies are completely unmotivated when it comes to any non-preferred task.  So simply getting them to make their bed or clean their rooms becomes a down-right meltdown that usually ends up with the kids and I in tears and my husband mad.  It isn't that the kids can't do their chores, or even that I can't accept the way they do them, its simply because - in my mind - it's not worth the fight it takes to get things accomplished.

I do feel that over the next few weeks something is going to have to give and my kids are going to have to learn to become more accountable.  I'll share how it's going along the way.  And if you happen to have an accountable kid story of your own please share it with me in the comments, it'd be great to know I'm not alone in this battle.  

Until next time - keep the pieces together.

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